In the eternal debate of Nature v. Nurture and their effect on human behavior, I think someone needs to put a little more emphasis on Desperation. Because in the past eight months I've exhibited behavior that I'm positive isn't in my nature...or my mother's nurture.
To name a few:
1. I crush spiders with my bare fingers.
OK. That's a lie. But...my tolerance for eight-legged creatures (at least the wispy daddy-long-legged ones) has improved substantially.
2. I fear mosquitoes more than arachnids.
Look, spidey doesn't suck my blood...leaving all sorts of parasites in his wake.
3. I've bonded with dirt.
Literally. I don't know that my skin has truly been clean for eight months. And you know, I'm OK with that.
4. I've perfected the art of wringing out wet laundry.
It's really all in the flick of the wrists...
5. I am living the life of a part-time vegetarian.
Can't afford to buy meat from the supermarket...and certainly can't afford to eat meat from almost everywhere else!
6. I've nearly mastered the world of creative stove-top cooking.
OK. That's a lie, too. But, I've come pretty darn close. And yes, it's vegetarian 95% of the time.
7. My [American] grammar may be permanently damaged.
I can't help it when they don't understand unless I say, "I shall herewith pick you from the stage with my car because, me, I have."
8. I ride little Honda 90's through developing-world chaos with two grown men (the driver and my hubby) and no helmets.
Don't fret, Vic, each ride is one continuous prayer.
9. I frequently wear mismatched, rumpled clothing.
Desperation.
10. I am an aggressive, law-breaking maniac behind the wheel on the left side of the road.
It's a good thing the police only pull people over for bribes...
Put that in your pipe, Mr. Jung, and smoke it.
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