It's been 11 years since the last time Valentine's Day was on a Sunday. I know this because the last time it was, my grandma passed away the night before. Being present at time she died gave me a greater hope and assurance that there is life beyond this one, and taught me the the true meaning of romance.
So, to honor her memory I'd just like to share a love story. Five of them, actually.
I believe I have a unique privilege in today's world to not only have the marriages of my parents and both sets of grandparents in tact, but to have in them great examples of real romance wrought not only of love, but of sacrifice.
When my grandma was 17 years old, she was diagnosed with Type I diabetes. Obviously the medical world has made huge advances since that time...but unfortunately, my grandma suffered from the effects of it for most of the years of her life. She had kidney failure, dialysis, heart surgery and strokes. She spent many years in a wheelchair and the last years of her life confined to her bed.
I'm told that she and my grandpa had quite the chemistry throughout their relationship. She once said that her heart would always skip a beat when my grandpa would walk into the room. While I didn't get to see much of that side of their relationship, I did see the countless days that my grandpa loved and essentially gave up endeavors of his life to care for my grandma. She never spent a day in a nursing home. He bathed her, fed her, carried her, kissed her, joked with her and fixed her hair.
Their dynamic romance grew into a self-less love and an inspiration.
And they are not alone.
My other grandparents have a similar story. They, too share a relationship of a shake of the head and a twinkle of the eye that comes with 50 years of marriage. But they have not been without their struggle and sacrifice. My grandpa, too, has had his share of health and heart issues. Last summer, he suffered his second major stroke. This time, he lost much of his capacity to do the things that he's always been able to do, and has prided himself on doing. I haven't been home to see them yet, but my grandma is his primary caretaker. She has given up much of her own comfort and convenience to help him do the things to make life feel normal--all while continuing her quest to fill the needy world with handmade blankets, quilts, baby booties and hats.
And, the legacy doesn't stop there.
Just recently, my own mom has been fighting her silent battles of health and heart troubles. My parents, learning from their parents, have an amazing relationship. From dancing in the kitchen to impeccably wrapped Christmas gifts, my parents love has always been apparent. And, just like their parents before, this love has not come without the struggles. I know of many sacrifices too personal to list here that my parents have made for each other, to help each other in times of need--bonding themselves together in a more selfless and perfect love.
Aaron's parents, too, have their own legacy of a unique love brought about by moments of struggle and sacrifice.
And, yes, even me. Though our marriage is nascent and budding, I recently had my own moments with health and hearts (runs in the family, if you didn't know), and true to the legacy his parents have given him, Aaron made his own sacrifices to help me feel better and make me feel loved.
The world sees romance largely as rings and white dresses, as chocolates and flowers, as date-nights and cruises. If it's not this, then it's not romance. And so many spend their lives searching for this ephemeral kind of love. I would submit that nothing is as fulfilling, as binding or as everlasting as is real romance--the sacrifice and the selfless love that comes from those matters of the heart.
My Parents
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