Dreams of Royal Weddings

I had a dream last night

That I was at the Royal Wedding.

In my heart of hearts

I don't really care about the Royals.

In fact,

I think of them as state-sponsored celebrities.

But in my heart of heart of hearts

I guess

I've always wanted to be a princess.

And seriously,

In their heart of heart of hearts,

What girl doesn't?

But,

Back to the dream.

We (as in my husband and I)

Were in Westminster Abbey

Awaiting the blessed occasion.

The priest that greeted us at the door told us

That we would see how important and reverenced these events were to the British.

Enter more guests.

A fight ensues over who gets to stand closest to the altar.

A full-out brawl.

Enter Kate and Will.

Kate is dressed like St. Lucia and I don't really notice Will.

Her bouquet looks like someone ran out back and picked all the wild flowers they could find in a frenzy.

The choir sings.

The choir exits the choir loft above the altar.

The ceremony begins.

The guests then somehow think that it's okay to sneak into the empty loft.

We follow suit.

Except Aaron forgot some of our stuff that we left stashed in the corner of the Abbey.

So he leaves (during the ceremony) to walk back down and get it.

On his way back,

He slips on the vinyl cushioning that makes up the narrow stair case that has suddenly become the loft.

(You know how dreams are.)

He slips so hard that both his shoes and his socks come off and he clamors to the floor.

It's loud.

Very loud.

And he was probably hurting.

(But, then again, the narrow stairs were vinyl cushions.)

I start to laugh.

Hysterically.

The snorting, gasping kind of laugh.

The guests around him help him up,

And I can't control my laughter.

In his not-so-12-inch-whisper he angrily asks why I'm laughing.

I can barely answer.

Then it was over.

And I had the rude awakening:

I am not, nor probably will ever be, royal material.

But, hey, I can sure dream, can't I?

(And I just have to say that by all appearances, I think the real deal lived up to its hype.  Plus Kate's gown and tiara were a lot more elegant than her St. Lucia get-up.  Classy people, they are.)