The Bin

I feel like I should label this week of my life Insight Wrought of Introspection.

The spilling of one’s musings sometimes helps the shredder to unclog itself.

If that makes any sense at all.

Probably not.

But.  Some disjointed points I’d like to make:

*

I think that I’ve biffed it in the race with technology.
I’ve been keeping pace with pack for most of my life.
At no point at any moment in time
was I ever considered the leader of that pack. 
But an abrupt change in scenery
has pretty much tangled with
my techno coordination. 
And in my sprawling to keep my feet under me,
I'm not-so-gracefully reminded
of a Davis High inner-squad track meet circa late 90's
where someone I know all too well
came in second to last place
in the women's 800 meter dash...
the last place winner coming in with a sprained ankle. 
It was a first and a last.

*

I suddenly understand how people lose their cool. 
I mean...not like their temper but like their street cred. 
Not like I had any to begin with. 
Shoot...I'm from Hometown, USA and
I tend to be borderline prudish. 
But any sort of idea of "in-ness"
that ever found itself in my aura...
has definitely started to lose its lumens. 
I could blame it on a lot of things...
but I would do so at the risk of sounding like an
ingrate. 
So. 
Just to be sure,
I wanted to get that out there
before anyone else could decide so for herself. 

 

*

 

As wild as my world has been in the last year,
South Bend is proving to be a force to be reckoned with. 
I've now lived through my
first and second tornado warnings...
and, unfortunately, am none the wiser. 
We sat at the window and watched the storm approach last night--
listening to the sirens wail.
Probably less than intelligent on our part. 
I'm just morbidly facinated by wind that can blow
at 90 MPH.

 

*

 

My husband thinks I eat too many pretzles. 
I just think he doesn't like to kiss pretzle breath.

 

*

 

Listening to older ladies talk about cremated pets
kept in small blue and gold tins,
while eating lunch,
is 10x worse
than kissing the worst pretzle breath
imagineable. 
I know this from recent experience.

 

*

 

I am amazed at how just a few words from a friend
can put life back into perspective. 
On a lot of different levels. 
If I were proficient enough at communication,
I could tell you exactly what I mean. 
But I'm grateful for moments when I realize
exactly what I need to realize. 
And for the moments that come after that that act as buffer
between those two realities. 
Also known as repentance.

 

*

 

If there is anything that I've learned, it's that
I can expect the unexpected. 
There are no guarantees in life. 
Up or down or all around. 
So don't get too comfortable. 
Except for maybe happiness. 
That could be expected--if you know the right formula. 
And to those people who are consistently and truly happy,
eternal props to you. 
I think you've got it figured out. 
It's not that the rest of us aren't happy...
it's just that sometimes we get the formula mixed up
for ultimate happiness (see above paragraph).

 

*

 

I wish that I were a soccer player.
True story.

***